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Bowser 🤝 Kirby
[Pic ID: A screenshot of a tweet from SmallAnt. The tweet reads, "So I heard they changed 'so long gay bowser' to 'bye bi'? I'm happy bowser is figuring out his sexual identity. Good for him." The tweet ends with a smiling emoji with hearts around it. End ID.]
Headcanon: Sonic believes Mario is older than he actually is. So it comes as a big shock when Mario mentions one day that he's 26.supermario
Sonic: Okay, okay, so Daisy, Peach, Mario and Luigi are around 25. Bowser has to be in his mid-30s, though!
Bowser: I'm actually also 26.
Sonic: You're what.
(Drinking/alcohol mention in third bullet point)
Bowser, talking to Steve: Listen, my kid, Junior, he's a real fan of your work. Would you mind giving me your autograph?
A random batch of Super Mario headcanons.
Monthly Minion Meeting
A fanfic I wrote a little bit ago that I decided to post here.
Fandom: Super Mario
Summary: It's time for the Monthly Minion Meeting (MMM for short) where Bowser addresses what the future plans are for the Koopa Troop––mainly, how they'll defeat Mario. This MMM, however, there are some unexpected guests...
Warnings: Gratuitous use of italics; nothing else I can think of, really
Genre: Possibly humor.
Word Count: ~1.9K
The high-pitched voice of Kamek reached Bowser's ears as he shuffled his notes and straightened them out against a nearby desk. "Yeah," he called out. He could hear the shuffle of Kamek's robe against the stone floors as he approached.
"Oh, good," Kamek said. "I was hoping to perhaps run a last-minute suggestion by you before the meeting starts?"
Bowser turned around with a quirk of the eyebrow. "Like what?"
"Well, while I realize that you're trying to maintain a certain..." Kamek twirled his hand about, "aesthetic, I truly think you should retire the lava room. That Mario uses it as a weapon against you moreso than the other way around."
Bowser huffed. "Absolutely not. When people think 'Bowser,' they also think 'lava.' If I don't have any lava, people will be disappointed!"
"I know, I know, and I'm not saying to never use lava, but maybe this time, don't have a wooden bridge over lava with an axe ready to cut the suspension?" He paused for a bit. "Or a button."
Bowser grunted, crossing his arms. "Don't worry, that's already in my plans. I'll miss the retro feel of it, but it's time we modernize."
"Yes, exactly," Kamek nodded, adjusting his glasses. "Well, that's all I wanted to discuss. Oh, actually, how are your new contacts doing?"
Bowser smirked. "Crystal clear." He had been recommended a new brand, and so far his vision had been clearer and more vivid.
"Good. I'll go take my seat now."
Bowser quickly brushed his claws through his hair. "Before you go, how does my hair look?"
"Positively spiffy, Lord Bowser." With those final words, he went down the stairs of the stage.
Bowser cleared his throat and snapped his fingers at some of the Koopa Troopa stage crew as he walked to the center of the stage. The Koopa Troopas were quick in pulling the ropes and making the red curtains open up to a round of applause and cheers from the audience. He let them celebrate his arrival for a moment before he rose his hand and ushered a wave of silence. He allowed himself a quiet laugh as he set down his notes on the podium before him and adjusted the microphone.
"Welcome, everyone, to the Monthly Minion Meeting!"
The meeting had gone smoothly thus far, and Bowser had decided to break in the middle for a question-and-answer session. "If you have hands, raise 'em, or if you don't, have someone raise their hand for you," he instructed. Many hands rose up among the crowd. Bowser scanned the audience before he pointed to a Fire Bro. "You with the red shell."
A Lakitu in the air with a mike lowered it down to the Fire Bro. The Koopa tapped on it twice before speaking, "I know you said you'd go over it in the next half, but I gotta know now: will there be lava?"
Bowser gave a toothy grin. "Absolutely."
The crowd whooped and hollered at the news. Bowser eventually brought up his hand for them to quiet before looking over the mass of troops for a new person to pick. The new lenses were really proving their worth; everything was just way more crisp, and he was able to more readily make out the people in the back––
Wait. His eyes flicked back to the rear rows. Red and green sat next to each other, which wasn't unusual considering the composition of his army, but was that a pair of mustaches he saw on the two?
With a growl, he bent his legs and jumped, soaring over the audience. Screams filled the air as people rushed out of the way, leaving a clear area for Bowser to land on––right in front of the infamous Mario brothers.
The chairs they sat on hopped into the air at the impact, falling back down shortly after. Mario's chair stayed upright, while the green one's fell backwards with him on it. "Hello!" Mario greeted with a wave as Greenie––er, Luigi––sat up, holding his head.
"What are you two doing here?!" he yelled out, making all the minions jump around him––except for the ones soundly asleep sitting next to the brothers. (Bowser would have a lot to say to those baddies after the meeting was over.) "It's not Go-Kart Saturday, or even Tennis Friday!"
Luigi stood up, worry in his eyes as he rubbed the back of his head. Still, he wasn't shaking like a Tanooki Leaf like he used to when he saw Bowser back in the day. "W-We're here for the MMM," he said, with Mario nodding along to his words.
Bowser brought his head back, taken aback. "The MMM––" he repeated to himself before shaking his head and baring his teeth again. "What do you mean the MMM?!"
Luigi raised his index finger. "You know, the MMM. It stands for Monthly Minion––"
"I know what it stands for! I mean, why are you here for the MMM!"
"W-Well," Luigi began, "every Koopa Troop member is supposed to attend the meetings, i-if able."
Bowser blinked and looked around at all the minions around him, Can you believe this? conveyed in his eyes. His attention returned to the brothers with a humph. "While that is true, you forgot the part where you aren't members!"
"Uh, but... we are," Luigi said.
Mario reached over into his pocket and pulled out a laminated card. "I have the card to prove it!"
"What?! Give me that," he snapped, swinging his arm and snatching the card from Mario's hand. There was no way it was official!
He poured over the tiny thing, mumbling under his breath. Photo, check; red Bowser stamp, check; "Mwuahahahahaha!" written on it in his handwriting, check. It even had the right amount of "ha"s! It was either an insanely good knockoff or the real deal!
"I can show you my card, too, if you want," Luigi said.
"No, I don't!" Bowser shouted, throwing the card to the ground. Mario picked it up, blew the dust off and pocketed it. "It's obviously a fake! To become part of the troop I have to say you can, and there is no way I let you two join!"
"Uh... but you did."
Bowser growled and narrowed his eyes. "When could I have possibly done that?"
"Um, well, in Mario's case, it was when you two joined to fight, uh, who was it, Smitty?"
"Smithy," Mario corrected.
"Right, right, Smithy. Y-You see, I wouldn't know, because I wasn't there," Luigi explained as he glanced sideways at Mario.
"I was too busy to get you!" Mario protested.
Luigi waved his hand at Mario in a dismissive but playful manner before he continued. "And, uh, well, you kinda chased me and forced me to join when Peach's voice got stolen."
Bowser opened his mouth only to slowly and hesitantly close it as the memories came flowing. He did remember saying that Mario could join the Koopa Troop so that they could get his castle back, and he did go after Luigi to add him to the troop before he learned he was Mario's brother...
Wait a moment. "That was a long time ago! How long have you been going to these meetings?!"
"Uh..." Luigi trailed off, scratching his head as Mario began to wordlessly count off his fingers. Bowser's heart dropped a little when Mario continued on to his second hand and then went back to the first. "L-Let's just go with a while," Luigi interjected, making Mario stop.
"How often have you gone to 'em?!" Bowser asked, his horror rising.
"Oh, we try to attend each month, and sometimes to the surprise meetings, although we can't always because of a plumbing job. And there was one time Mario got sick, and I didn't wanna leave him alone at the house, so I didn't––"
"Sh-Shut it!" Bowser exclaimed, losing his composure. He scanned over the crowd. "Who's the one who cards people?"
A blue stub raised in the air, barely above the Koopa Troopas around it. The crowd split to show the blue Shy Guy raising her hand.
"Why would you let them in?!" he yelled.
She dropped her hand. "I was told to let anyone in who had an official card. Yeah, they're the Mario Bros., and they kinda suck because of that, but their cards are legit."
Bowser was absolutely floored. It would have been one thing had they been sneaking in, but they had been walking in! Leisurely!
Bowser flared his nostrils. "Alright, that's it!" He pointed at the two. "Get them!"
Instead of the pile of Goombas jumping onto them like he had expected, he was instead met with a lot of hesitation and looking at each other. Oh, he could feel a huge anger-induced headache setting in... "What is your problem?!" he asked, utterly exasperated.
"Lord Bowser," a Goomba––wasn't he the one Bowser had stripped of captain rank?––began, "a Koopa Troop member isn't supposed to hurt their fellow minions! But they are the Mario Bros..." Strain was obvious on his face. "I-I've never been so conflicted in all my life!" he exclaimed. The red Shy Guy beside him gently patted his head.
"I'm not conflicted," Private Goomp said. When the two brothers faced him after those words, he took a step back. "And by that I of course mean that I'm also very conflicted."
Bowser growled, holding onto his head and scrunching his eyes shut. Everyone turned to him expectedly, thinking he was about to face the two himself out of sheer frustration. Instead, he stopped growling, let out a long breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. Bowser did not feel like fighting. Junior had woken him up in the middle of the night over a nightmare, so he hadn't slept so well, and soon after the meeting, Bowser was supposed to attend one of Lemmy's performances. If he missed it because he was battling it out with the brothers, then Lemmy would be sad, and nobody liked it when Lemmy was sad. Oh, and there was also that headache throbbing at his temples.
"Just... could you just leave?" Bowser asked.
Luigi frowned, a little upset. "Aw, but what about the goodie bag at the end of the meetings?"
Bowser grunted. "Lakilee!" he barked out. Said Lakitu flew over to him, dropped one of the goodie bags into his outstretched hand and flew off.
He shoved the bag into Luigi's hands. "Now go. Just go! Leave."
The two brothers looked at each other before Mario stood up from his chair and the two began the slow trek out of the auditorium. Bowser watched them go until the big doors shut behind them with a loud creak. The sound made one of the sleeping minions awake with a start, frantically looking about and trying to figure out what was going on.
Bowser heaved out a sigh before he turned and walked back to the stage, feeling too worn out mentally to jump back to the stage. Once he was back to his podium, he spoke slowly into the mike, "Does anybody else have a question?"
No one moved or made a noise.
"Good. Moving on..."
As the two brothers walked down the long hallway with red carpet, Luigi had a frown on his face. Eventually, he asked, "Do you think we shouldn't go to Lemmy's circus act after all of that?"
Mario hummed in thought for a moment. "It would be rude if we didn't go," he surmised. "We told Lemmy we would."
"Yeah, you're right. Hey, do you mind going to the gift shop? We haven't gone there in a while."
Mario smiled. "Let's-a go!" he agreed, following Luigi into the nearby store.
Bowser being a dad headcanons:
Bowser: Iggy, listen. I'm trying to sleep. You gotta turn down that "Care-amel-dancing" music you keep playing.
From the Super Mario Bros. 35th Anniversary Direct YouTube video.
Some random, small headcanons:
"Bowser Jr. is Bowser's only child." I'm sorry, Nintendo, I can't hear you over the sound of Bowser adopting all the Koopalings.
Bowser @ Mario
*thinking about mario and bowser high fiving* 😌rubbertig
Bowser and Mario are that one Tumblr post about lifelong enemies having to deal with the platonic tension between them.
just some sketches of bowser... trying to get the hang of him
Found out about this and I had to draw it because it's so cute
So in Super Mario Bros The Lost Levels (or SMB 2) there's a character referred to as Bowser's brother. His sprite is identical to Bowser's except for brown skin and a teal shell, which could be the lighting. He is distinguished from the Fake Bowsers in the game in which he isn't revealed to be a minion if you defeat him with fireballs. Some guides say it is Bowser's brother, others claim it's just another fake. I think this is a perfect opportunity for an extra character we haven't seen before
I think I'll call him Azurser. Azure Bowser.
LOVE IS STORED......... IN THE BOWSER!!!
Okay this is random but like the idea that mario characters dont have sex and canonically have children via storks always intrigued me on a world-building aspect... Idk i just think its neat. Maybe it's cos I'm ace, lol. So I'm gonna go off under the cut about my theories and headcanon...
So.... Going by this logic... You know how everyone is always like "who's Junior's mom!?" but what if theres no mom... What if... Bowser just really wanted to be dad! He just wanted a kid! And I dont know about you, but I just find that thought the sweetest.
And following this... hear me out okay...... this one is more wild but just listen... so if all one needs is strong desire, right? And there doesn't need to be yknow a mom+dad formula... What if... How our royals Peach and Bowser came to be...
Was the desire of both kingdom's people for a leader... !!
Their "parents" are their people... !!!!
ARE YOU ALL FOLLOWING ME!!! Do YOU GET WHAT IM SAYING !!! OHMYGOD !!! IMAGINE !!
Of course in terms of actual direct parental figures Toadsworth is Peach's dad and Kamek of course is Bowser's... Lets just also make that clear. Kamek is Bowser's dad. Toadsworth is Peach's dad. Like come on.
Anyway all this to say...
WhERE IS THE CUTE CONTENT OF THESE DADS W THEIR ROYAL KIDDOS!! I gotta do everything on this planet. Smh... Im taking out my tablet pen.
I'm gonna apologize in advance for rambling back at ya, but yes, yes and yes!
<button class="btn btn-light btn-sm btn-block" type="button" data-toggle="collapse" data-target="#postSeg234659" aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="234659">
</button><div class="collapse" id="postSeg234659">"You get a baby if you want one" is definitely supported by the canon because, in "Yoshi's New Island," it turns out that the original couple the stork delivered to are not the bros' parents. The couple specifically mentions they weren't expecting any babies, meaning that there has to be a prior arrangement of some sort. To me, it makes sense that this would be through "wishes."
In this universe, wish-making is an actual process, where someone makes a wish, the Star Spirits determine whether it is granted, and if so it is sent to Star Road where the wish is made into a Wish Star and is sent down to Shooting Star Summit/Star Hill where it is granted (this is combining the lore from both SMRPG and Paper Mario 64). Also in "Yoshi's New Island," babies are said to come from "way up in the sky . . . [from] a magical, cuddly land" and that storks come to that land, pick up the infants and then bring them to their parents. This makes it seem that storks are only involved in the delivery of babies and not the creation of them; so perhaps wish-making is how babies are created?
I've never before thought about the kingdoms' people wanting a leader would have a baby leader appear but sign me up for that headcanon, I love it. We know that bunches of people can combine their wishes to stengthen it, 'cuz that's what happened in TTYD during the fight against the Shadow Queen, so I wouldn't say it's a stretch at all!
I will say that Peach could potentially still be from a royal ine, as again in SMRPG, you have a Toad character in Peach's castle who Peach refers to as "Grandma." It's possible there is no familial relation there and that "grandma" is just a term of endearment, especially considering that Grandma might be a chambermaid (according to the Nintendo Player's Guide of the game), but I find it interesting. There was also the existence of a Mushroom King, however he never appeared in any games and only showed up in some comics before he basically disappeared from Super Mario canon (that is, if you consider those comics canon, which I don't necessarily). Bowser, though? I don't believe there's been any mention of any parents (except in the anime movie I think?) so, yeah, that's my headcanon now for how Bowser became king.
Also Toadsworth and Kamek are definitely dads. In SMRPG when you read Kamek's thoughts during your battle with him, he actually thinks, "That's...my child?" (as Bowser is in your party by then) and we see Toadsworth caring for Baby Peach in "Partners in Time," like! They're such dads! And Bowser himself is also such a dad; he loves his son so much, it's so cute.
Wow, that got long. Oops, lol.</div>