He was born with an axe in his fur!

Math/Mathematics ♪ He/Him ♪ Trans Dude

Just a regular ol' fellah.

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Posts tagged mario:

The kinda anti-union line Toadette gives you in Super Mario Maker 2 is already weird, but it's also weirder when you consider that she says this to Mario.

Mario, who has been a construction worker, demolitionist, factory worker, plumber, doctor, etc. Mario is likely in one if not multiple unions.

Wallpaper from Nintendo Magazine 2020 winter. (Image can be found at the MarioWiki here.)

[Pic ID: Official artwork of Mario against a red backdrop. He wears a big green scarf around his neck and has his arms crossed for warmth. His breath is visible due to the coldness. He looks up at a single snowflake as it falls down. End ID.]

Headcanon: Sonic believes Mario is older than he actually is. So it comes as a big shock when Mario mentions one day that he's 26.

Building Up

Haha, what if I wrote a fanfic over an obscure character?

Fandom: Super Mario

Summary: Foreman Spike reflects on a past golf match with Mario.

Rating: Rated E for Everyone

Warnings: Nothing, really.

Genre: Pre-Friendship? Not really a genre, but I don't know how else to describe this.

Word Count: 641

Foreman Spike wiped his arm across his brow, letting out a sigh as he drove his excavator over to a dirt pile. The mayor had commissioned for some more buildings to be built in New Donk City, and that of course meant Spike was in the forefront of it all, what with his experience. Sitting back, he readied his hands over the controls, when he spotted something red out of his periphery. He turned in his seat. Mario himself was walking alongside the mayor, the both of them laughing about some joke Spike couldn't hear.

Even though he would yap at the other workers for lollygagging, he found himself taking his foot off the gas pedal and watching the two for a bit. Although he heard of Mario and Luigi through the newspaper and TV, it had been a long while since he actually saw either of them in person. In fact, the last time had been when Mario had invited him to golf.

It had been a nice, sunny day with a cool breeze, although that had done nothing to make Spike any less annoyed as he had walked up to the plumber, who was leaning on his golf club and chatting it up with the princess of that strange Mushroom Kingdom. After the princess left his side, however, Mario noticed him fast, and turned to him with a wide smile.

"You made it!" he exclaimed.

Spike let out a mirthless bark of laugh. "Yeah. So what's your deal?"

Mario tilted his head. "'Deal?'"

Spike scowled. "Actin' all buddy-buddy with me and inviting me to go golfin'."

Mario stopped leaning on his club and stood up straight. "It's been a while since we've seen each other," he said. "And you mentioned once you like golf."

Spike grumbled as he shifted the bag of clubs on his back. He couldn't deny that. "Whatever," he settled with. "Are we startin' soon or what?"

Spike had agreed to the golf game on the belief that there was a catch––that Mario was going to get revenge on him in some way for teaming up with Bowser or all the other times Spike had tried to bring Mr. Famous down a peg. Once Mario did anything of the sort, Spike wasn't above using that dirt against him and proving to everyone that he wasn't as great as so many claimed.

Yet with each stroke and birdie, Mario just smiled and clapped and said "Way to go!" to each player. Even when all the total scores were added up and Spike was deemed winner (naturally), the red-capped fellow just patted his shoulder. "Bravo!" he congratulated.

Spike frowned. "Grazie," he returned without thinking.

"Would you want to join our next golf match?"

Spike huffed. Mario had to be toying with him (right?), and he didn't appreciate that. "No, I'm good."

There was a quick flash of disappointment in the plumber's eyes, but a smile replaced it just as fast. "It was nice to see you again!" he said as Spike left, more confused than when he had arrived.

Spike had been bitter for a long time about Mario, about how he had just joined the job Spike had been working for years, only for Mario to get so much acclaim for saving a woman from some primate. He got so riled up over it, he even took up Bowser's construction job offer just to get back at him. Yet as the years passed, it got harder to hold the grudge when Mario had been so willingly friendly to him, even after he (admittedly) went too far.

Spike hummed, turning his attention back to the controls and pushing down on the gas. He would call Mario and see if he would be willing to catch up after so long, but for now...

He had work to do.


(Drinking/alcohol mention in third bullet point)

  • Meta Knight is fluent in both what we'd call Spanish and English, with Spanish as his first language.

  • Luigi didn't really curse until he became friends with Solid Snake. Now Luigi will occasionally swear.

  • Peach and Isabelle sometimes have drinks together. Peach prefers champagne while Isabelle likes whiskey.

  • Meta Knight has a lot of Shy Guy fans. In fact, in the Mushroom/Mario 'verse, he has a dedicated fan club.

  • Mario was stuck in bed for a while due to his injuries from Ridley. Not because he was good about staying in one spot, but because everyone was very insistent he stay in bed.

  • Bowser: "Mario, don't make me punt you back into bed! Anyway, are you feeling better than you did yesterday?"

  • Luigi is the only Smasher who isn't from the Kirby 'verse who's seen Meta Knight without his mask. It was an accident.

  • Meta Knight maybe sorta kinda lowkey threatened Luigi afterwards to never tell a soul what his face looked like.

supermario -

The reason Mario looks mad in the Super Smash Bros. games is because he's trying to be serious (he's one of the OG Smashers! people look up to him!) but has absolutely no idea how to look like he's being serious so he just goes >:( mwad.

supermario -

Mario: >:(

Somebody: Hey, can you tell me where the kitchen is?

Mario: :D Yes, hello, I can help!

The reason Mario looks mad in the Super Smash Bros. games is because he's trying to be serious (he's one of the OG Smashers! people look up to him!) but has absolutely no idea how to look like he's being serious so he just goes >:( mwad.

A Halloween-y headcanon:

Mario and Luigi sometimes dress up as each other for Halloween (so literally Green Mario and Red Luigi). They try to mimic each other's voice as well. Mario is okay at it but Luigi is spot-on. In general, Luigi is very good at voice impressions.

Silly headcanon: Mario is fluent in the language of dragons and is able to use Shouts/Thu'um.

No one knows, not even his brother, because it has never come up.

(For those who don't know, Mario shares a voice actor with Paarthurnax, a dragon in Skyrim.)

Mario just trying to sleep peacefully after getting smacked into Minecraft and then getting blown up:

The wandering trader barging into the room, their llamas bleating as loud as possible: My time has come!

The pose... the expression... it's all sending me...

[Pic ID: A close-up of Mario from the Steve Super Smash Bros. reveal trailer. He appears shocked, holding a hand out in front of him with his mouth hanging open as he stares wide-eyed to the left. End ID.]

supermario reblogged rubbertig
rubbertig -

cant believe mario got smacked so hard he ended up in the next game over in my switch home menu and let all those blocky minecraft folk into my smash bros 😨😯😱👀

I am in awe...

[Pic ID: A screenshot from the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate reveal trailer for Steve from Minecraft. Steve holds an iron pickaxe in his right hand as he stands by a bright opening to a dark cave. He looks to Mario who is in the cave and looks surprised and shocked by Steve's arrival. End ID.]

It's beautiful, it's gorgeous, it's amazing... I am feasting on serotonin as we speak,

supermario reblogged rubbertig
supermario -

Mario lives in my head, but not rent-free. He pays in serotonin.

naiad -

my head is Luigi's Mansion

Mario lives in my head, but not rent-free. He pays in serotonin.

Monthly Minion Meeting

A fanfic I wrote a little bit ago that I decided to post here.

Fandom: Super Mario

Summary: It's time for the Monthly Minion Meeting (MMM for short) where Bowser addresses what the future plans are for the Koopa Troop––mainly, how they'll defeat Mario. This MMM, however, there are some unexpected guests...

Warnings: Gratuitous use of italics; nothing else I can think of, really

Genre: Possibly humor.

Word Count: ~1.9K

"Bowser, are you here?"

The high-pitched voice of Kamek reached Bowser's ears as he shuffled his notes and straightened them out against a nearby desk. "Yeah," he called out. He could hear the shuffle of Kamek's robe against the stone floors as he approached.

"Oh, good," Kamek said. "I was hoping to perhaps run a last-minute suggestion by you before the meeting starts?"

Bowser turned around with a quirk of the eyebrow. "Like what?"

"Well, while I realize that you're trying to maintain a certain..." Kamek twirled his hand about, "aesthetic, I truly think you should retire the lava room. That Mario uses it as a weapon against you moreso than the other way around."

Bowser huffed. "Absolutely not. When people think 'Bowser,' they also think 'lava.' If I don't have any lava, people will be disappointed!"

"I know, I know, and I'm not saying to never use lava, but maybe this time, don't have a wooden bridge over lava with an axe ready to cut the suspension?" He paused for a bit. "Or a button."

Bowser grunted, crossing his arms. "Don't worry, that's already in my plans. I'll miss the retro feel of it, but it's time we modernize."

"Yes, exactly," Kamek nodded, adjusting his glasses. "Well, that's all I wanted to discuss. Oh, actually, how are your new contacts doing?"

Bowser smirked. "Crystal clear." He had been recommended a new brand, and so far his vision had been clearer and more vivid.

"Good. I'll go take my seat now."

Bowser quickly brushed his claws through his hair. "Before you go, how does my hair look?"

"Positively spiffy, Lord Bowser." With those final words, he went down the stairs of the stage.

Bowser cleared his throat and snapped his fingers at some of the Koopa Troopa stage crew as he walked to the center of the stage. The Koopa Troopas were quick in pulling the ropes and making the red curtains open up to a round of applause and cheers from the audience. He let them celebrate his arrival for a moment before he rose his hand and ushered a wave of silence. He allowed himself a quiet laugh as he set down his notes on the podium before him and adjusted the microphone.

"Welcome, everyone, to the Monthly Minion Meeting!"


The meeting had gone smoothly thus far, and Bowser had decided to break in the middle for a question-and-answer session. "If you have hands, raise 'em, or if you don't, have someone raise their hand for you," he instructed. Many hands rose up among the crowd. Bowser scanned the audience before he pointed to a Fire Bro. "You with the red shell."

A Lakitu in the air with a mike lowered it down to the Fire Bro. The Koopa tapped on it twice before speaking, "I know you said you'd go over it in the next half, but I gotta know now: will there be lava?"

Bowser gave a toothy grin. "Absolutely."

The crowd whooped and hollered at the news. Bowser eventually brought up his hand for them to quiet before looking over the mass of troops for a new person to pick. The new lenses were really proving their worth; everything was just way more crisp, and he was able to more readily make out the people in the back––

Wait. His eyes flicked back to the rear rows. Red and green sat next to each other, which wasn't unusual considering the composition of his army, but was that a pair of mustaches he saw on the two?

With a growl, he bent his legs and jumped, soaring over the audience. Screams filled the air as people rushed out of the way, leaving a clear area for Bowser to land on––right in front of the infamous Mario brothers.

The chairs they sat on hopped into the air at the impact, falling back down shortly after. Mario's chair stayed upright, while the green one's fell backwards with him on it. "Hello!" Mario greeted with a wave as Greenie––er, Luigi––sat up, holding his head.

"What are you two doing here?!" he yelled out, making all the minions jump around him––except for the ones soundly asleep sitting next to the brothers. (Bowser would have a lot to say to those baddies after the meeting was over.) "It's not Go-Kart Saturday, or even Tennis Friday!"

Luigi stood up, worry in his eyes as he rubbed the back of his head. Still, he wasn't shaking like a Tanooki Leaf like he used to when he saw Bowser back in the day. "W-We're here for the MMM," he said, with Mario nodding along to his words.

Bowser brought his head back, taken aback. "The MMM––" he repeated to himself before shaking his head and baring his teeth again. "What do you mean the MMM?!"

Luigi raised his index finger. "You know, the MMM. It stands for Monthly Minion––"

"I know what it stands for! I mean, why are you here for the MMM!"

"W-Well," Luigi began, "every Koopa Troop member is supposed to attend the meetings, i-if able."

Bowser blinked and looked around at all the minions around him, Can you believe this? conveyed in his eyes. His attention returned to the brothers with a humph. "While that is true, you forgot the part where you aren't members!"

"Uh, but... we are," Luigi said.

Mario reached over into his pocket and pulled out a laminated card. "I have the card to prove it!"

"What?! Give me that," he snapped, swinging his arm and snatching the card from Mario's hand. There was no way it was official!

He poured over the tiny thing, mumbling under his breath. Photo, check; red Bowser stamp, check; "Mwuahahahahaha!" written on it in his handwriting, check. It even had the right amount of "ha"s! It was either an insanely good knockoff or the real deal!

"I can show you my card, too, if you want," Luigi said.

"No, I don't!" Bowser shouted, throwing the card to the ground. Mario picked it up, blew the dust off and pocketed it. "It's obviously a fake! To become part of the troop I have to say you can, and there is no way I let you two join!"

"Uh... but you did."

Bowser growled and narrowed his eyes. "When could I have possibly done that?"

"Um, well, in Mario's case, it was when you two joined to fight, uh, who was it, Smitty?"

"Smithy," Mario corrected.

"Right, right, Smithy. Y-You see, I wouldn't know, because I wasn't there," Luigi explained as he glanced sideways at Mario.

"I was too busy to get you!" Mario protested.

Luigi waved his hand at Mario in a dismissive but playful manner before he continued. "And, uh, well, you kinda chased me and forced me to join when Peach's voice got stolen."

Bowser opened his mouth only to slowly and hesitantly close it as the memories came flowing. He did remember saying that Mario could join the Koopa Troop so that they could get his castle back, and he did go after Luigi to add him to the troop before he learned he was Mario's brother...

Wait a moment. "That was a long time ago! How long have you been going to these meetings?!"

"Uh..." Luigi trailed off, scratching his head as Mario began to wordlessly count off his fingers. Bowser's heart dropped a little when Mario continued on to his second hand and then went back to the first. "L-Let's just go with a while," Luigi interjected, making Mario stop.

"How often have you gone to 'em?!" Bowser asked, his horror rising.

"Oh, we try to attend each month, and sometimes to the surprise meetings, although we can't always because of a plumbing job. And there was one time Mario got sick, and I didn't wanna leave him alone at the house, so I didn't––"

"Sh-Shut it!" Bowser exclaimed, losing his composure. He scanned over the crowd. "Who's the one who cards people?"

A blue stub raised in the air, barely above the Koopa Troopas around it. The crowd split to show the blue Shy Guy raising her hand.

"Why would you let them in?!" he yelled.

She dropped her hand. "I was told to let anyone in who had an official card. Yeah, they're the Mario Bros., and they kinda suck because of that, but their cards are legit."

Bowser was absolutely floored. It would have been one thing had they been sneaking in, but they had been walking in! Leisurely!

Bowser flared his nostrils. "Alright, that's it!" He pointed at the two. "Get them!"

Instead of the pile of Goombas jumping onto them like he had expected, he was instead met with a lot of hesitation and looking at each other. Oh, he could feel a huge anger-induced headache setting in... "What is your problem?!" he asked, utterly exasperated.

"Lord Bowser," a Goomba––wasn't he the one Bowser had stripped of captain rank?––began, "a Koopa Troop member isn't supposed to hurt their fellow minions! But they are the Mario Bros..." Strain was obvious on his face. "I-I've never been so conflicted in all my life!" he exclaimed. The red Shy Guy beside him gently patted his head.

"I'm not conflicted," Private Goomp said. When the two brothers faced him after those words, he took a step back. "And by that I of course mean that I'm also very conflicted."

Bowser growled, holding onto his head and scrunching his eyes shut. Everyone turned to him expectedly, thinking he was about to face the two himself out of sheer frustration. Instead, he stopped growling, let out a long breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. Bowser did not feel like fighting. Junior had woken him up in the middle of the night over a nightmare, so he hadn't slept so well, and soon after the meeting, Bowser was supposed to attend one of Lemmy's performances. If he missed it because he was battling it out with the brothers, then Lemmy would be sad, and nobody liked it when Lemmy was sad. Oh, and there was also that headache throbbing at his temples.

"Just... could you just leave?" Bowser asked.

Luigi frowned, a little upset. "Aw, but what about the goodie bag at the end of the meetings?"

Bowser grunted. "Lakilee!" he barked out. Said Lakitu flew over to him, dropped one of the goodie bags into his outstretched hand and flew off.

He shoved the bag into Luigi's hands. "Now go. Just go! Leave."

The two brothers looked at each other before Mario stood up from his chair and the two began the slow trek out of the auditorium. Bowser watched them go until the big doors shut behind them with a loud creak. The sound made one of the sleeping minions awake with a start, frantically looking about and trying to figure out what was going on.

Bowser heaved out a sigh before he turned and walked back to the stage, feeling too worn out mentally to jump back to the stage. Once he was back to his podium, he spoke slowly into the mike, "Does anybody else have a question?"

No one moved or made a noise.

"Good. Moving on..."


As the two brothers walked down the long hallway with red carpet, Luigi had a frown on his face. Eventually, he asked, "Do you think we shouldn't go to Lemmy's circus act after all of that?"

Mario hummed in thought for a moment. "It would be rude if we didn't go," he surmised. "We told Lemmy we would."

"Yeah, you're right. Hey, do you mind going to the gift shop? We haven't gone there in a while."

Mario smiled. "Let's-a go!" he agreed, following Luigi into the nearby store.

A small headcanon:

Mario is neurodivergent and experiences periods where he can't talk/is semiverbal. Luigi is also neurodivergent and it sometimes occurs to him as well, but not as often as it does with Mario, and it only really happens to Luigi when he's very stressed or exhausted (mentally, emotionally, physically, etc.)

Alright, since I'm on the topic, I'm just gonna have a bunch of Mario pics (courtesy of the MarioWiki!) with my comments on them under the cut:

There's just something about Mario doing this pose that I find kinda funny. Just "tada!"

I feel like this is doing the splits and then some! He doesn't seem in pain, though. What a show-off :P

Nothing much to say here. I just think it's cute art of Mario giving off dad/uncle energy.

Mario once again getting way too into football... although apparently this is rugby, according to the source.

mwad >:( and shocked >:O

Funny expressions aside, I like how you can tell they're not actually angry at each other? Just focused on winning.

I wanna be a cowboy, baby!! From Super Mario-Kun, a Japanese only manga that is apparently having at least some volumes translated into English to be sold officially. Don't know much about it, but the art style's neat.

And with that, I leave y'all with this final image with no context (mostly because I have no idea what the context even is):

All I can think of when I look at this image is that old ¿Quieres? meme.

[Pic ID: A render of Mario from the Super Mario series. He is holding out a silver GameCube toward the viewer, as if offering it to them. In his other hand is a gold GameCube controller. End ID.]

Analyzing Mario on the surface level: Hehe-hoo, happy jumpy wahoo man!

Analyzing Mario a little deeper, but without examining context, etc.: He's a sore loser, doesn't have a personality, and doesn't seem to care much about Luigi.

Analyzing Mario even deeper: He was just a carpenter who saw a person in need of help and was eventually called upon by a kingdom so desperate for help they turned to a plumber they heard saved a woman once. He went from being a standard John Doe to a hero everyone knows. People looked up to him and praised him, and asked for his help time and time again as their hero, and he felt compelled to answer their call, putting everyone else before him. Said praise understandably went to his head and made him feel bad whenever he lost a game because he was supposed to be the great Mario, hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, to the point he was even jealous that his brother won against him. But he does very much care for and love his brother, as Luigi does for him, as they have both had various opportunities to leave the other kidnapped or sealed in a painting. Perhaps Mario can be a bit blind at times to Luigi's feelings, but he has made a legitimate effort to include Luigi more in his adventures and rely on him more rather than taking on the onus solely by himself.

Analyzing Mario at the deepest possible level: Hehe-hoo, happy jumpy wahoo man!


[Pic ID: A screenshot of the Luigi's quotes article on MarioWiki. The text reads,

"Luigi (at a live llama): It's a cow!"

Mario: Nononono, that's a llama!

Luigi: Oh... hello, llama!

Mario: Is your mama a llama?

Luigi: Yeah, I, I bet she is!

Mario: Yeah, of course! Hahaha! Hello, little llama!

Luigi: Hello, little llama! Oh, it's so cute!

Mario: Yeah!"

End ID.]

From the Super Mario Bros. 35th Anniversary Direct YouTube video.

[Pic ID: A screenshot from the YouTube video "Super Mario Bros. 35th Anniversary Direct" posted by the Nintendo channel. A background made up of several screens show official art or gameplay from various Super Mario games, both 2D and 3D. In the foreground, a Goomba, Luigi, Toad, Bowser, Mario and Princess Peach are standing around, climbing onto or sitting on 3D words that are yellow with green edges that read, "35th Super Mario Bros." End ID.]